What is your name?

Joshua Tyler Jones ( Soon to be Joshua Tyler Million)

In what city and county do you live?

Lexington  ( from Harlan County )

What are your pronouns?

He/Him ( questioning he/they)

What does the word Queer mean to you?

To me, queer means freedom and authenticity. It’s the freedom to live outside norms or narrow boxes. It’s freedom of loving expression in the face of adversity. Queer is freedom to love without shame. 

Queer is family chosen and earned. Queer is protest and advocacy. Queer is responsibility. Queer is being who we are and loving who we love no matter the odds. 

What was it like growing up as a Queer person in Kentucky?

I grew up in Harlan County, deep in the Appalachian region of Kentucky, a place once powered by a thriving coal industry. My grandfather was a coal miner until an accident took away his ability to work, and my father has spent his life surveying land for the mines. Growing up queer here definitely had its challenges. Masculinity wasn’t just an expectation in my household — it was the standard for survival. Our home was defined by hypermasculine values: toughness, silence, emotional restraint. Boys didn’t cry. Boys didn’t sing. Boys didn’t wear bright colors or spend their time drawing or caring much about anything outside of what was deemed appropriate for boys.

But I was different. I’ve always been soft-hearted — empathetic, kind, curious about beauty and story. I liked to be clean and put-together. I loved Disney princesses and musicals, and I found magic in things like Dungeons & Dragons, art, and Star Wars. These weren’t just hobbies — they were parts of myself I clung to in a world that told me they made me less of a man. These were my places of queer expression and community before I found those places as an adult.  I still remember that I begged to join the school choir and was told no by my father.  Not because I couldn’t sing, but because it wasn’t “for boys.” The same thing happened again when I begged my parents to let me join band. That rejection was never just about activities, it was a denial of identity, enforced by the traditional gender roles and conservative religious beliefs that were cornerstones of my community and immediate home.

That being said , I realized I was gay around seventh grade. At the time, it felt like a curse. I was terrified not just of how others might see me, but of what it meant in relation to my faith, my culture, and my family. Being queer in that context felt like being split in half: part of me trying to live up to what was expected, the other screaming to be free. I genuinely believed, for a time, that being gay was a test of my faith something I would have to resist forever. This might all sound dramatic but I grew up in a place where my church’s pastor talked of beating the gay out of gay men, and where women in the congregation were brought to tears because they suspected one of their child’s teachers might be gay. This woman was bright to sobbing because queer person might teach their child in school. This cuts deep as an education professional who’s taught almost a decade. This was cultural homophobia at its purest. 

Growing up wasn’t all bad though ,Everything changed when I moved across the state to attend Murray State University. I was 17 when I started college . For the first time, I found people like me my RA (an openly gay artist) instantly made me feel at ease with myself. I found community in the theater department, in my media arts major, in student groups like the Murray State Alliance and in some deep friends who are now my family. I came out, and in that process, I found a home and found myself. I learned that my softness was strength. That the parts of me that didn’t fit back home were worth celebrating, not hiding. I could be both proud of where I came from and proud of who I am. This is the one time in life I often dream of revisiting because it was so transformative in a positive way to who I am now .

Today, I’m an adult who’s found love and partnership. I’m getting married to a man I love deeply. We’ve built a life here in Kentucky  in this same state where I once felt ashamed to be myself. But even now, being openly queer here isn’t always easy. We’ve faced comments, looks, even confrontations. From an elderly woman at a museum exhibit telling us to “cool it,” to a stranger climbing into our car trying to figure out why two men would sit so close, to being told during a movie in Newport that our affection “shouldn’t be allowed here.”

But through it all, we stay rooted. We are queer Kentuckians. This is our home just as much as it is anyone else’s. My family  both chosen and biological, is here. My career is here. 

Because being queer in Kentucky means knowing pain, yes. But it also means knowing joy, resilience, and the power of loving out loud in the face of silence. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

What would you say to any person struggling to come into their own identity?

First, off I would say to any person struggling with your identity that what makes you incredible is YOU. You should live as your most authentic self, because that person is who’s going to make you happiest even if it’s at odds with the culture and community around you. You are not broken. You are not wrong. You are not a burden to carry. You are You and should live and love and express as such. 

I grew up in a place where who I was didn’t fit the mold , where kindness, softness, emotion, and difference were seen as weakness. I was told, sometimes in words and sometimes in silence, that there were parts of me I should hide if I wanted to be safe or accepted. I know what it’s like to feel like you have to choose between being loved and being yourself. But I promise you, that isn’t love, anyone that’s telling you that the way you are is wrong isn’t showing love to you, they are showing love to a version of you that they want, not who you are. To quote my favorite musical “ well if that’s love it comes at much too high a cost” . Real love — the kind that fills you up instead of shrinking you down starts with authenticity to yourself, to your gender expression, to who you love.

There is no timeline for self-acceptance, and no right way to be who you are. Your pace is valid. Your process is sacred, figuring out your identity is a day by day thing . 

There will be people who don’t understand you. Some will try to shame you into being who they want you to be. Those people aren’t worth the frustration and the heartache, people who really love you will love you no matter what. 

Your story matters, not someone’s story if you. You matter. And the world needs what only you can bring. Just be you because that makes you incredible ( I tell this to my students all the time ) 

What issue are you most passionate about in the Queer community? And what do you think the best solution or approach would be?

Right now the issue most important to me is making sure our trans family and community are taken care of. I want our trans community to have access to the healthcare they need to live their most authentic lives and be at their happiest. I have deep connections to the trans community, my sister transitioned from male to female and is currently a published author , and as a high school teacher I’ve had many students who are trans. Right now both legislation and certain communities would seek to devalue and break down trans people, they need our support now more than ever. A secondary yet very important issue that matters to me is protecting our LGBTQIA+ teachers. . . Being in this community and having a public facing job like being a teacher is SCARY, you’re constantly under the microscope and many others are looking for ways to discredit you as a professional or are seeking to have you fired from your position in education, simply because you’re a teacher who happens to be queer. 

I think the solutions for both of these issues are as follows, for trans healthcare we need change at the state level and up this means advocating for the right to healthcare to our elected officials, organizing protests or demonstrations, and building a local community that provides resources on where to find care if you are looking. 

For teachers I think professional development on how to make work a safe space for non cis het staff, and adopting employment protections that stand against discrimination, many states outside of Kentucky have protections for the queer community. I think having a teachers union for queer teachers would also be a magnificent starting place. Queer teachers are a group of people that go undervalued, they help ensure that our queer youth have a safe person and make it through those harder times when family may not be welcoming or supportive. Queer teachers save lives. 

Where have you found community?

As a queer person I have found community in many different spaces both online and in person. In terms of physical community I have found that many local establishments here in Lexington that are geeky spaces are also queer safe spaces.  Chaotic good and d20 hobbies are two places where I can feel queer and safe, both places have pride stickers and queer staff that make the locations feel cozy. I also have found community in some local dungeon and dragons groups most of the groups I have played with or joined are queer heavy. In terms of online queer community I have found community with many other queer folks around drag, ( I have a group that always goes to werk the world tour together) along with as silly as this sounds a group of gay Disney adults I’ve been to pride nite in Disneyland with this community and hope to go to gay days in Disney world with some of my queer community members as well. 

How have recent political changes affected your life? 

Recent political changes have definitely built in a sense of urgency to get married to my partner . I love my partner and there was never any question on whether I would marry them, however; due to the changes in government we feel as though our opportunity to be married in Kentucky is on a clock.  With how hateful the current government administration has been to LGBTQIA+ folks we are worried our right to marry is soon going to go away. We are set to get married this October, and we are saving every dollar that comes our way to make that a reality. We wish this stress wasn’t on us to move so quickly, but we feel time isn’t on our side in this matter. I sincerely hope I’m wrong about this, but I’m scared of losing my ability to marry the person I love. 

What are some ideas you have for bringing other queer people together for community?

I think sharing queer culture is so important, so I think having a location where queer people can watch queer cinema or cinema made by queer folk, or a place where queer people can exclusively play board games and connect with other queer people would be fantastic. I guess my dream location would be a queer owned cafe board game store where queer people play codenames and sip lattes would be the dream for me ! The venue would also have a space you can rent out for specific queer events !

What are some LGBTQ+ experiences/artists that have helped you express the struggles or the joy of being queer? 

There are various LGBTQ+ artists I want to highlight here . For films I love the work of screenwriter Chris Butler, an openly gay artist and screenwriter. He wrote Paranorman which is an essential queer film all about being who you are, I really resonated with this film growing up and it makes me cry everytime I watch it, ask my partner and he’d tell you this is my actual favorite film. 

In terms of books I love the work of Willow Maclay, Alice Osman, and TJ Klune. Willow is my sister and has written extensively on trans cinema in her book Corpses, Fools, and Monsters, a history of the history and future of transness in cinema . Alice Osmans Heartstopper  was a big one for me and helped me mend the teen experiences I didn’t get to have growing up in such a hostile environment to where people, and TJ klune just writes mlm romance so well, his green creek series is a favorite of mine . 

In terms of experiences that have helped me really love being queer is pridenite in Disneyland, the Kentucky theater pride showing of rocky horror picture show and our local lexington and Kentuckiana pride festivals. All of these experiences make me feel safe, valid, authentic, and worthy of love. As a queer person, spaces where I don’t have to look over my shoulder feel truly magical. 

Are there any specific queer friendly places you’d like to highlight and share with the rest of the community? 

In terms of Lexington KY, Chaotic good is a queer friendly board game cafe, D20’hobbies is another queer friendly board game location. Shout out to crossings as well and the Kentucky Theater. Downtown Lexington has a lot of vibrant queer spaces. 

If you have some accomplishments you’re proud of, share them here! The accomplishments of queer people are something that should be celebrated!

I survived is accomplishment number one, I can’t express the number of times growing up I thought life would be better if I were just gone . I finished my bachelor’s without much family support! I have taught media arts in high school for almost a decade! I made a documentary that raised $20,000 for a homeless shelter in Georgetown KY. Most importantly I’ve found love, and I’m living my truth as a queer man. I’m me, and I’m proud of that, because it was so hard to get here.