Letter from the Editor: Let’s Reimagine Masculinity

Dear Reader,

Until this flash essay was read to me by my dear friend Minda Honey, I could never quite grasp why I loved being gay so much. I could never find the words to describe why “gay” was my reason for life, but maybe it’s because the experiences we share can never properly be put into just one sentence.

Oftentimes as gay men, we are asked, “Why is being gay your whole personality?” This question once brought me unshakeable shame. “There’s more to you than being gay, right? Can’t you talk about something else?”

I understand that I don’t need to explain to people every day that ARTPOP is Gaga’s most underrated album or detail why I prefer Jungle Juice poppers over RUSH, but even the most mundane energy exchange will be laced with un- avoidable queerness any time I open my mouth. My Kentucky-valley girl drawl and my big bashful eyelashes make my responses to oh-so-hetero small talk drip in the deepest degree of gay.

Is there more to me? Am I too much? Am I not enough? Do I want there to be more? I started asking myself these questions when my natural feminine tendencies and traits were called into question — because that’s what was really happening.

What I have realized is that my confidence can create uncomfortable feelings in others, but my god-given femininity is everything and something to be proud of. It’s my sparkle and my strength that societal norms and the morality police have tried beating out of me over and over again.

And believe me, I tried conforming to “moral” standards. I tried throwing without a limp wrist. I tried deepening my voice. I tried dating and fucking girls. I tried praying. I tried begging. I did the research and read our culture’s imaginary textbook on “how to be a manly man”, but every time I took its open-book test I failed. A big ole’ F for faggot.

When Minda read this flash essay to me, I think she thought it was a cute, quirky piece for me to connect with because I am always looking for new ways to connect with my queerness. This is true, but she more importantly handed me a blueprint for gay self-love. A Rosetta Stone of sorts for translating why being gay is so amazing.

Every time I wrap up an issue of Queer Kentucky, I wonder how the words between the pages will affect you, dear reader. Will witnessing men in dresses help validate you? Can visible top surgery scars of another make you feel less alone? I hope that these gender-bending Bluegrass stories provide affirming words and phrases that instill pride and joy. I hope as Editor-in-Chief, I can be your Minda and that this magazine works like Edgar’s words worked for me.

Love,