The following is an opinion piece and reflects the views of the author, not those of Queer Kentucky. Our op-ed section exists to uplift diverse LGBTQ+ voices and perspectives across the state. We publish these submissions as part of our mission to encourage cultural critique, thoughtful commentary and dialogue that matters to our community.

by Heather Stevens

All women deserve safety, privacy, and dignity. Trans women are no different. We share the same basic human needs: to feel safe, to be treated with respect, and to live free from fear. 

Yet in recent years, trans women have been targeted politically, especially in conservative states where new laws have sought to push us out of public life. We have been falsely portrayed as threats to cisgender women, accused of endangering them in restrooms and locker rooms without a shred of evidence. The supposed “problem” these laws aim to fix simply does not exist.

Statistics show that trans women are not a threat in women’s restrooms or locker rooms. A recent study found that states with trans-inclusive restroom policies experienced no increase in public safety or privacy violations. There are well over ten thousand trans women in Kentucky, where I live, based on population data from the same institute. If we were dangerous, no one would feel safe using public facilities, yet there have been no such incidents, as confirmed by law enforcement and women’s safety experts. The real danger comes when we are denied access to the right spaces, since research shows that transgender people denied appropriate restroom access are at a significantly higher risk of verbal, physical and sexual assault.

In general trans people face significantly higher risk of sexual violence. One meta-analysis found transgender people are 2.5 times more likely to experience sexual intimate partner violence compared to cisgender people. Research on U.S. college students found that transgender people faced nearly 60% higher odds of sexual assault than cisgender women. Forcing us into male spaces only increases that danger.

We are often targeted because offenders believe police will not protect us, and because trauma leaves many of us more likely to freeze or fawn instead of fighting back. These are not hypotheticals. Forcing trans women into men’s spaces magnifies the danger and risks retraumatizing survivors.

The truth has been twisted beyond recognition, portraying trans women as threats when we are the ones most often harmed. These false narratives create laws that make us less safe and turn us into the victims of the very crimes we never committed.

Trans women’s brains are naturally oriented toward femininity because our minds are hardwired to be feminine. We are simply living in alignment with who we are, and that is both wholesome and deeply natural. We are not trying to deceive anyone by fitting in; we fit in because our femininity is genuine. Many of us have already permanently changed our bodies to match our minds, and there is no going back. We are simply women living our lives, some married, some single, some loving men, some loving women. Like many cis women, we are guided by empathy and care for others. What we share is the same desire to live safely and with dignity.

I am now female-sexed, with both primary and secondary female characteristics. I have looked like a cis woman for more than two decades, as do many other trans women. My personality is cheerful, kind, and naturally feminine. I am nearly indistinguishable from my cis counterparts and often have to tell other trans people that I am trans, because they simply assume I am cis. I have been married to my husband for almost two decades. Like any husband, he wants me to be safe, respected, and able to live without fear. I have lived the life of a married, straight woman. To the best of my ability, I am living my truth.

If I walked into a men’s locker room, I would probably be politely asked to leave because they would think I had made a mistake. Some might even find it amusing. But if I explained that I am a trans woman and that the law, in certain states, requires me to use their space, I suspect the laughter would stop and concern would take its place. Rightly so, I do not belong in their space. One would hope all the men would be mature, compassionate and understanding, however, my presence would still most likely make them feel uncomfortable. What if some of the men become upset, my safety could be at risk, and I could face verbal abuse or even be physically removed. I am no match for even a small man. If an offender were present and we were alone, I could be at risk of a sexual assault.

Now imagine some of the men were in various states of undress. I suspect they would feel even more uneasy. It would seem improper in today’s society. I would never. But what if I changed clothes? What if I showered? Would they slip me dollar bills? Would they think of me later as well?

On the flip side, I have never had an issue using women’s restrooms or locker rooms. There is no excitement, no reaction. I am largely ignored. The more clothing I remove, the more female I appear. The unspoken rule is to give one another privacy by not staring. Everyone minds their own business unless we’re with friends, and then we never stop talking and laughing.

Many trans men who have long since transitioned also look indistinguishably male. People are often surprised to learn they are trans just as there with me. They are masculine, confident, and strong. Forcing them into women’s spaces would be just as inappropriate. At best, it would make everyone uncomfortable; at worst, it could lead to conflict or even violence if someone or security tried to intervene.

Many trans women wait a long time into their transition before using women’s spaces. We don’t want to be embarrassed or harassed. We want to be treated with respect and to feel safe. But in the end, we need to stay part of society if we are to prosper, even if our presence sometimes causes mild discomfort for cis women who aren’t yet used to us. We are just as safe as any other woman there.

Excluding us puts us at greater risk of harm, just as forcing us into all-gender restrooms does, because it singles us out as “other.” It implies there is something wrong with us, that we are not real women. It reminds me of other times in history when people were segregated based on skin color.

I never imagined needing to talk publicly about any of this. I thought it was common knowledge trans women were safe and that we belong with cis women, that we are all feminine to varying degrees together.

Bio: I’m a Kentucky-based trans woman and longtime technologist who helped build healthcare software startups. Married for nearly two decades and a proud parent of two adult children, I write about faith, resilience, and the everyday realities of safety and belonging for trans people. I hope for a world where every woman, trans or cis, can move through public life with dignity.