Whether you’ve been laid off from your job, are working from home, or going in to work with a new set of protective gear and anxieties, your day-to-day routine has likely been impacted by the outbreak of COVID-19. And because as humans our external activity, our actions and routines, directly impact our internal activity—our thoughts […]
A few days ago, I had a panic attack. It had been building for a couple of weeks, ever since the Coronavirus started spreading in the U.S., leaving everyone—including me, my staff, and most of my friends—wondering whether we’d still have jobs tomorrow. And then there were the other unknowns: Will I get sick? If […]
A couple of weeks ago I attended my first leather event: the 2020 Kentucky Leather Pride Competition. I went in a virgin (figuratively speaking), and left with a newfound appreciation and respect for the leather community. By the time I arrived, the bar was filled all the way up with queers in leather harnesses, pup […]
The other day, someone misgendered me. Not to my face, but to my boyfriend. He said: “I hear you’re dating Adrian. Isn’t she trans?—or he—or whatever.” My face was on fire as my boyfriend, a cis gay man, nervously relayed the story to me over the phone. Midway through, my thoughts started to spiral. How […]
“All identities are valid.” Queers love to say this, only to raise an eyebrow at the lesbian who mentions her ex-boyfriend, or the trans person who changes their pronouns more than once. All too often, when queers say “all identities are valid” it’s with the unspoken caveat: “as long as you’re absolutely certain, and your […]
Transgender. Recovering alcoholic. Both labels carry stigmas. Coming out as each would change the way people viewed me. Both developments were positive, even cause to celebrate, in their own ways. There were also key differences, like the fact that I understand alcoholism as a disease, which transness definitely isn’t. But reflecting on the similarities between these parts […]
This is a question that the cisgender (or non-trans) people I have dated are often asked by other cis people. It is an example of a well-intended microaggression, a question or comment that is not malicious, but that nonetheless reveals the speaker’s bias toward (in this case) trans people. Please note! You can be supportive […]
One of the first people I came out to as transgender was my ex. We had been together for about two years, and we lived together. I knew the conversation would set off a chain reaction of consequences that neither of us were prepared to deal with. I was stone-cold sober when I’d made the […]
Imagine if, every time you had to use the bathroom, you were required to hold it until the available public restroom was completely empty. Now imagine being stuck in a busy restaurant, needing to pee. There is a long line out the restroom door that doesn’t seem to be dwindling. There are no other public […]
Non-queer people have a hard time empathizing with queer estrangement: the deeply traumatic experience of being rejected by loved ones, not because you’ve wronged anyone, but simply because of who you are, or who you love. They haven’t been kicked out of their house after coming out as gay, or invited home for the holidays […]
The following is a speech that I delivered on November 20th, 2019 at Douglass Blvd Christian Church in Louisville, KY for Transgender Day of Remembrance. I was so honored when Dawn Wilson invited me to speak tonight alongside such eloquent voices and powerful forces of change in our community. But then I started thinking about […]
I started transitioning while working at an Irish pub in Lexington, KY. This is how I usually begin my transition story. I suppose because it was there, at the pub, that I experienced trauma: the double-edged sword that at once disfigured my psyche, and sharpened my sense of justice into a tool for social change. […]
Sometimes allies—those who actively support, uplift, and show up for the members of an oppressed group—make mistakes. And sometimes we say things that we intend to be complimentary or affirming, but which are actually microaggressions: instances of subtle, indirect, or unintentional discrimination. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. “Wow—you seem so stable. […]
Gender euphoria is just as essential to many trans narratives as dysphoria.
Strike up a conversation with any gay person about the reboot of the TV series Queer Eye, and chances are they’ll have seen at least an episode or two. But strike up a conversation with a cis gay man or woman about the new TV series POSE, and there’s a good chance they won’t have heard of […]
The short (and obvious) answer to this question is “yes.” Fetishizing trans people, or any group of people for that matter, is problematic because, much like discrimination, the fetishization of a group of people always involves stereotpyes and generalizations of that group. For example: the stereotype that Asian men are more submissive, or that black […]
Using critical reflection and lived experience to crack open concepts of gender, sexuality, identity, community, and more. Is it wrong to fetishize trans people? The short (and obvious) answer to this question is “yes.” Fetishizing trans people, or any group of people for that matter, is problematic because, much like discrimination, the fetishization of a […]
For me, choosing to be visible means speaking freely about my identity and about my experiences if or when I feel inclined to do so. Sometimes this looks like marching in a Pride parade or wearing a rainbow t-shirt to work. Sometimes it looks like writing a blog post like this one. Other times it […]
Originally published in Bodega Magazine I came out as trans while working at an Irish pub in Lexington, Kentucky. The pub, Laney’s, was something of a legend in the minds of the locals. By the time I got there, however, its golden years were long over, and its legacy lived on only in the slurred […]
Adrian Sibernagel The label with which I most identify is “queer.” I also identify as trans (because I transitioned), bisexual (because I am attracted to more than one gender), and male (because that’s how I see and experience my own gender). But what draws me to the label “queer” is that it implies a fluidity, […]
