Queer? To be completely honest, the meaning of the word Queer has been a bit of a conundrum. The definition, personally, changes daily.

When I was initially introduced to the concept of what I think Queer is today, which I think is something quite radical, I didn’t think I was radical enough. What I’ve come to associate queerness with are people who don’t have rigid, black and white definitions of their sexuality and gender.

That’s exactly where I find myself, in a grey area. I prefer humans who identify as men, that’s not to say I’ve never felt attracted to someone who identifies as a woman, sexually. If I have to tick a gender box, I would tick male. However, I don’t subscribe to the stereotypical ideas of what society would consider to masculine. I don’t identify as female, but I certainly am effeminate. For me, this is my queerness.

I would say these are ideas and notions I’ve come to recently. I grew up in Jackson, Mississippi where the culture is very binary. Gay vs Straight – Man, Woman. I’ve lived in New York for ten years, I think this has changed slightly back home.

However, when I was coming of age I didn’t have any references for anything beyond the stereotypes. It was a constant struggle to find where I fit in.

After my recent visit to Kentucky, I’m noticing a change in the south. I think with dawn of social media more people in rural and conservative areas have access to representation and like minded individuals that one may not have known existed. It’s allowed LGBTQIA+ community to form a more global network which is beautiful. Especially for young people – if I had the knowledge that people like me existed in the world when I was coming of age, or examples of people living their life beyond societies definition, everything could have been different.

It’s all so overwhelming, I wish that boxes and definitions and binaries didn’t exist. Can you imagine a world where people just exist freely as they are? No need to create subcultures and sub-subcultures and communities within communities for protection and identification?

I’m not sure I’ll ever see this problem solved as long as we’re human but if we’re aware it’s a start. What’s wild is it’s all just a human attempt to belong but in this attempt to belong we create new communities or scenes that become exclusionary.

The best example that comes to mind is high school, there are kids that don’t identify with the mainstream so they refuse to conform and choose to rebel. In their rebellion they join the goth scene or alt scene, now their rebellion has become about conforming with a new group of like minded individuals that reject a group of people that they feel rejected them.

As it relates to Queers specifically, this behaviour was for protection and safety, mental and physical. I think it’s important and healthy to respect the past, but we have to look towards the future and build on ideas that are actually inclusive.

Gay cis white men have gained a lot and move through the world with much more ease, what’s important now is to use that privilege support and uplift more marginalized members of our collective community.

By Pablo Archila

HIV is 100% preventable. We aren’t just limited to condoms and hand jobs anymore, there’s medicine that can prevent HIV infection called PrEP. PrEP, or Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, is a once daily pill taken to prevent HIV infection. Think of it as the birth control for HIV. Meaning, it only works if you take it.

Deciding to get on PrEP is entirely up to you. Once you’ve decided that you want to do it, here’s how you get it. Doctors, APRNs, physicians assistants and some pharmacist can prescribe PrEP. So if you have a PCP that you’re already established with, and feel comfortable with, you should go to them and have a conversation about getting on PrEP. If you don’t, find one or reach out to your local pharmacy or VOA FIT on where to go.

Whether or not you chose to get on PrEP, going to your doctor is so important, especially for queer folks who can have non-traditional health needs. Depending on where you live, finding an LGBTQ*competent physician can actually be somewhat easy, and there’s plenty of databases online for doctors sensitive to queer healthcare.

Once you have a prescription, now it’s time to get help paying for it. On its own, a one-month supply of PrEP can cost around $1,300, in addition to doctors and lab visits. Most insurances, including Medicaid, cover it. However, it may not cover all of it; here’s where Gilead, the manufactures of PrEP, can help. If you make less than about $50k a year, they should be able to cover all of it. They have a voucher, or co-pay, card that you can sign up for online at gileadadvancingaccess.com to help offset the cost. There are also resources if you have no insurance too.

Most likely you have seen or heard something around lawsuits or medical issues with PrEP. Well with Truvada there have actually been links to declined kidney functioning and decrease in bone density. While these issues are rare, your medical provider should be monitoring you to be sure they don’t become problematic. On the flip side, Truvada is no longer the only PrEP game in town. Descovy is a new HIV prevention medication option.  It has the same effectiveness with less side effects and is being recommended as the preferred option of PrEP.

Once you have the meds, doctors say you should wait about 2 weeks after taking it daily, to be protected by it, and have sex. You can chose to also use condoms to provide more protection, especially against other STIs, as PrEP only protects against HIV.  However, studies have shown that PrEP and sager sex practices is helping to reduce chlamydia and gonorrhea infections by up to 40%.

Remember, you should be seeing your doctor and doing labs every 3-6 months while on PrEP to make sure it’s working well and not causing any health issues. These labs also include STI screenings. PrEP does have side effects, and its long-term effects are not known completely. 

To sum it up:

1. Decide that you want PrEP
2. Find a doctor or healthcare provider that will prescribe it to you
3. Get help paying for it
4. Take as directed
5. Attend your follow-up appointments

My first experience with the word queer was that it meant weird. I remember driving home and my mom asked my friend how his day at school was. He sighed and said, “queer”, and then he explained to me that queer meant odd, or weird. Years later, I found out it was a gay slur, butwe’ve taken it back, I think. It does mean weird. I can’t tell you one person who would describe me as “normal”. I’m weird. I’m gay. I’m queer.

Louisville. Born and raised. I knew I was gay when I was in kindergarten. I had crushes on boys and I had a hard time relating to them, so most of my friends were girls. I learned quickly that being gay was looked down upon and I kept a part of myself locked in. That kind of shame plays on you, and you learn to live with secrets. I was always observing the subtleties with which people can hate. I remember watching HBO’s The Laramie Project in middle school which made an impact on my life that I’ll never forget. That was the first time for me that people weren’t censoring themselves on what they thought about homosexuals. It wasn’t taboo, or this fun, sly thing where people make jokes with a smirk. It was real issues, out in the open. I came out when I went to college in Illinois. I didn’t want to deal with coming out in high school. I knew most of their opinions, and I didn’t feel safe.

“Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” I’ve been there. Its not easy. You’re not alone. Talk to a friend who doesn’t mind who you are.

I think being closeted for so many years taught me how to act “masc”, or like a traditional straight dude. Unfortunately, society’s norms on men is that we are emotionless, strong, or protectors. However I’ve always identified with traditional “feminine” stereotypes: I’m sensitive, empathetic, and very compassionate. So what happens when you have a young boy who feels these emotions that are considered “weak”? If they can’t cope, they overcompensate and become aggressive or indifferent. We’ve started calling that toxic masculinity, but its not a new idea–look at The Laramie Project: two young men in 1998 had such a problem with the fact that another man might actually have “feminine qualities” that they killed him. I make a point to be unapologetically me. I laugh when something is funny, and I’m not embarrassed to cry. I show strength in sensitivity. My hope is that young people, especially young men, will see that they don’t have to fit in this “man means strong, woman means weak” mentality that I definitely grew up with.

I love the queer community. I think we are just trying to find ourselves in whatever 2018 is. I wonder what life would be like if we grew up without gender roles, and stereotypes. There are major problems with body image. I view myself as “gay fat”. I’m “gay fat” because I don’t have a six pack. That doesn’t make me fat–that just means I love pizza. I think it changes with TV and movies: until we start showcasing NORMAL looking people in roles where maybe they are made to be the love interest, we are still going to have this airbrushed view on what we should look like. Good luck with that.

I don’t party as much as my friends, and have been called, “the worst gay” on multiple occasions. I don’t really feel excluded from the mainstream gay culture … If I wanted to be included, I would (and do) insert myself. However, I’d like to meet more gays at not bars… and not apps.

I’m at my best when I’m in a rehearsal room working with others. Devising. Creating. I love to collaborate and come up with something that couldn’t have been made by just me. It’s different as an actor, and a director. I’m used to mostly acting, but as the director of The Laramie Project, I’ve done a lot of improvising. I come in with a plan, and then realize that we need to hit point A, B, C, and D before we can do what I need to. They key is being adaptable.

I’ve had so many teachers who taught me what its like to have a sense of humor. On the opposite end, I’ve had a lot of teachers teach me what it’s like to hate your job. I think that the greatest ability one can have is the ability to laugh at themselves. In the end, we have one life to live, so we might as well giggle our way through it.