We knew we were fierce

Pablo, Lexington, Kentucky

I feel like the word gay is kind of like a white man’s term. Because when I was growing up watching shows like Queer Eye and other media about gay men, it was never about men who looked like me or my friends. All my friends growing up were black or Latino. We didn’t look like those people on TV or in movies. I felt inadequate or ugly in a way.

But we knew we were fierce, so we felt kind of underground. I think queer is more inclusive of people of color and of the weirdos, those of us who don’t wanna look like a fucking Polo ad for Gay Keenland. The word gay now to me is really being associated with a hetero-normative life that a lot of gay men lead, which is great for them, but that’s not what I want. I still wanna be punk.

I love getting dressed up for Disco Parties and clubbing; that’s Sober Betty’s time to spread her legs.

Sober Betty is not really an alter ego, but kind of. She’s just the party. I had the name before getting sober.

It was meant to be ironic because years ago I was known for being a hot mess, always lit, always turnt, doing coke, smoking pot, always up for four days at a time smoking Tina…. Eventually I got sober, then I thought why fucking change it? I would always hear, “Oh, I’ve heard of you, or seen your Instagram, Sober Betty.” It’s just become part of my identity. It’ll probably never go away.

It’s fun to have an over the top persona because actually when I’m chilling at home I’m not really that over the top. But I love to put on a show. I think when I was younger I would push the boundaries a lot more, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve settled down a bit.