What does the word queer mean to you? How do you identify?
Queer means I am brave enough to try, it means freedom, it means the ability to imagine a world without racism, without sexism, without transphobia, and homophobia and brave enough to practice unlearning to see it come to past. It means that I brave enough to exist. It means I am Trans- GNC. I am divine. It means keep going, motivation. It’s a challenge especially the being part.
Why? Or why don’t you identify as anything at all?
I identity with as many things as possible, and at the same none at all. I am a Chris. I am specific Chris type of Chris to my peoples. I am Black Chris-Anansi-Ellagua-Eshu-Slaughter Young-Duke-Butler- Thomas-Wilson. Years of information in my DNA. And so much more. To be Chris the being is hard, because we in society are attached to everything.
We are obsessed with body parts.
I am too because I live in this society, I make mistakes, then I correct myself. I correct myself when I am not around my gender-non-conforming friends and practice their pronouns. I practice correcting my thoughts, when I think about them in the wrong pronoun.
Where are you originally from and explain how was it growing up/living in Kentucky?
I am original from Florida. I lived in the Tampa Bay Area. I don’t know, I cannot speak for Black Queer Kentucky, because I am not from Black queer Kentucky. I can only speak on my experience, as an activist and organizer for Black lives Matter. If you want information about Black Queer Kentucky find them, If want information about artists, activist, poet, Chris than hear I am. I am want to find Black Queer Kentucky and build relationships with them. That is all, and do my advocacy work.
What would you say to any person struggling to come into their own identity?
Shit accepting yourself is hard. Be gentle with yourself. It has taken me 28 years to accept who I am, and I am still accepting. It’s Challenging. Some days it easy, some days it’s just fucking hard.
I try to carry myself according to my principles. My principles allow me to sleep at night.
Do you feel excluded from the “mainstream” queer community? Why or why not?
Yes, there’s obviously not Trans-GNC in mainstream media.
Where do you feel “at your best” (safe, happy, fabulous, comfortable, etc)?
I don’t think I ever feel at my best, I think I am always improving… that is purpose of human evolution in my opinion. I think if I accomplish the goals I set out to do I am winning. Winning in some area may not be my best in life though.
I am at my best when I am accepting that I am both light and dark. The dark parts of me, my skin color, the innocent part.. remember we humans started in darkness and we come out towards a light… in the middle.
I am feel best when darkness is understood, not as something always evil.
Safe isn’t a real word for me, safety is an allusion. Nothing is fucking safe. Secure for me is a better word. When I feel most secure sometimes is when I am speaking to my elders on the phone, they keep reassuring me that I am on right path. I am most secure in the arms of my lovers. My partners.
A lot of things make me happy, Ice cream, you can always bribe me with cream soda and pizza, and good head. I do like my nails to get done, etc. I am bit of a fem boy at times.
A poem to express me
I am that breeze that blows across your face, on hot summers day
You know the one you was prayed to the Goddess for,
I am the words that enter your mouth, when you think you have nothing left to say,
I am resistance, been resisting since my creation,
breed to be nothing more than what I am,
And I am light,
I am darkness,
I am light wrapped in dark skinned,
With a dash a of glitter star stuff,
I am made from star dust,
I am star shinning bright in the sky to give hope,
I am the rage that demands change,
I am reason Masha P. Johnson throw the shot glass,
I am the reason why, Harriet Tubman was a war strategist, why Langston wrote poems,
And Zora spent time watching God, as she rained and blew her breath in Florida,
That same breath that was, the breeze that ran across your face on those hot summer days,
When you prayed for me,
I am prayers answers,
I am the reason why, our ancestor died, and were reborn, to died again
To rebel just to died,
Because they knew fighting for freedom was worth dying for,
I am their freedom,
I am their broken bones put back together,
I am their sorrow turned into joy,
I am their unbroken hands,
I am their unbroken spirit,
I am their culture reborn,
I am free, from chains that enslaved them,
I am their wildest dreams, walking, living, breathing, surviving,
I am their hope, their star, their dreams, their sun, so naturally there I go rising,
I am love, loved
I am Black joy, magic
I am powerful,
I am living resistance,
I am everything I need to be, in this moment,
I am enough,
I am water, constantly adapting to change
I am worthy of all the love, I am trying to give away,
I am free,
I am me,
I am Chris Black trans/gnc human being