Grateful, Gay, Glorious

Breson Morelos, So. Indiana and Kentucky

Queer, to me, is a term that used to give me so much fear. See, in my experience, it was a term that was used to demean or harm a person who is not attracted to only the opposite sex or perhaps feel romantically inclined into pursuing. Now, as an out gay man and truly identifying this way since I was 16, I have learned to embrace this. Being gay or queer is only one aspect of me but it’s one way of being that brings be strength and solidarity within myself and others.

I am originally from Clarksville but was half raised in Corydon, Indiana. I come from a divorced family and also pretty conservative parents. My father is from the Philippines and has been here since 1990.

Being half Filipino and my mother coming from a semi-rural area, I had identity issues from the start. I did not recognize why I did not have the same complexion as my father.

Therefore, growing up in this region that is fairly conservative was a bit uneasy for me.

Confused by my ethnicity, sexuality, spirituality, and physicality, I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. I was afraid to say anything so I was real quick to stay quiet and be the “introvert” that I identified as. So, while my childhood was not the worst, it was difficult but I believe that I learned from my experiences.

I think my identity is only one part of myself. There are so many ways that I think of myself. I’m gay, an advocate of higher education, a brother, a son, a mental health awareness ally, etc. The list goes on.

Basically, I’m just me and try to lead by that everyday.

As a mental health ally, I think one huge issue impacting the queer community is alcohol and drug abuse. It is so prominent within our community that a lot of people experiencing these issues are less apt to find help.

I think that awareness is going to be something that would help with alcohol and drug abuse in the community. I think as a community, we should make resources available to these people at places most occupied by queer people.

If I was to say anything to anyone struggling with their identity, please know that you are not alone. There are people that felt the same way too.

However, there are people that are willing to befriend you, listen to you, and not judge you. Take time to love and embrace yourself and if you can’t do that, there are people that are willing to do that for you while you’re trying to figure that out.

Right now, I feel content with who I am. Sometimes I feel like I have an identity crisis but I know the feelings are temporary and not factual. I can say that I have more peace that I had before.

I believe that the people most important in my life are all influencers, good and bad, for who I am today. From the good ones, they provide support, guidance, and give me hope to keep on keeping on. From the bad ones, they give me a fire to prove them wrong. They ultimately gave me the experience that I can overcome anything and no haters are going to rain on my parade. The parade only just gets more fabulous.